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(TATER READING)
TATER: Tater log. Day five.
Another endless barrage of noise,
smells, toenail clippings and...
(FART RESONATES)
Ugh. Bodily functions.
Diary, my beloved,
I fear I won't last much
longer in the midst of this
Primo pandemonium!
(COUSINS LAUGHING)
COUSIN BUD:
Little plant babies.
(COUSINS LAUGHING)
(CRASHING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(YELLS)
TABI: Hey! Who moved my conditioner?
BIG NACHO: Come on. Totally.
Nowhere is safe.
How is a cute little dreamer gonna dream
when she can't catch a gosh darn wink?
(SCREAMING) It says "Do not Disturb"!
Ooh.
Hi, Buela.
Hi. (SPEAKING SPANISH)
Like you got the mal de ojo on you.
Mal de whatso?
The evil eye. A curse.
Buela, I don't believe
in curses anymore.
I'm on the path to my final form.
Childhood superstitions
are not becoming
of a wise logical woman
of advanced years.
(LAUGHS) Aren't you nine?
Exagerada.
That's basically a decade.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Grey hairs.
Ow! Knock it off.
(GROANS)
I just need some peace and quiet.
(THUDDING)
(COUSINS SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS) Tengo dolor de cabeza
with all this racket.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
- (CRASHING)
- (COUSINS SCREAMING)
GORDITA: Unfortunate.
Hiss!
(COUSINS SCREAMING)
(WHIMPERS) It's over.
So quiet.
- Are these things on?
- (CLINKING)
Hey, Lotlot,
where'd everyone go?
No one wanted to join my tea party.
Guess it'll just be me and Dolly.
Dolly?
(CHITTERS)
(SCREAMS)
I mean, uh, what's her name?
I just told you. It's Dolly.
It's right there on her tombstone.
EERIE VOICE: Dolly!
Everyone leaves me alone
when I bring her out to play.
Is that so?
ALL: Tater, play with us.
Back, primos!
(SCREAMING)
Me and Dolly, I guess
we're kind of a lot-lot. (CHUCKLES)
I wanna play with Dolly!
But me and Dolly
were having quality time.
Quality time.
You know, my mom told me
that this summer is all about
getting quality time with the primos.
And it's true for you too, Lotlot.
Why don't you
spend some "QT" with those cuties?
You never know what you'll learn
about yourself, or something like that.
And I can watch Dolly for you.
Eh? Nyeh?
Okay. You can watch Dolly.
- Yes!
- But there are rules.
Dolly hates being alone, so you have to
keep her near you at all times.
Easy, we'll be (CHUCKLING)
so inseparable.
You also have to
brush her hair exactly 100 times a night
or the spiders will come out.
Lastly, never, ever
let Dolly lay down on her side.
Why?
It reminds her of the time
she was buried alive. (ECHOES)
(GASPS)
Do you understand the rules?
Y-y-yes, totally.
Now, go be the social butterfly
I see under that crusty chrysalis.
Go fly, Lotlot, fly!
We're gonna do great things
together, Dolly-o.
(TATER READING)
(BLOWS RASPBERRY AND CHUCKLES)
Oh, Dolly, you jokesie little,
uh, jokester.
(GRUNTING) Aqui estas.
We got some new hairdos
to try on you, Tateroo.
Can you do one
for Dolly, too?
(ALL GASPING)
(CHUCKLES) Up top.
(GAGS) Why? (GROANS)
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.
DOLLY: Occupied.
(YELPS) Never mind, man.
The backyard is
nature's toilet. (GROANS)
Tater time, and it feels so good!
(GASPS) Refreshed, unburdened.
You've earned it, my friend.
(GROANS)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
TATER: Here's Dolly!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SIGHS) The sweet sound
of silence and solitude,
all thanks to you.
(CHUCKLES) You're a total doll.
Now, stand guard while
I sketch up some fan art of future me.
Oh, that's good.
But it needs some more glitter
on the robot arm though.
Oh, my apologies, Dolly!
Wait, weren't you
over there? How'd you...
Tater, you've got the
mal de ojo on you.
Ojo, ojo, ojo.
¡Tonta! Ojo means eye.
Eye? (GASPS)
DOLLY: (WHISPERING) I see you.
(SCREAMS) I mean, uh,
maybe I'm too old for dolls.
You know, as a wise logical
woman of advanced years.
Now, back to the robot arm.
DOLLY: Let me out.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Just the wind.
DOLLY: Let me out!
Oh, gosh, it's real drafty in here.
I don't wanna get sick. So, bye, Dolly!
Hello, family.
(CHUCKLING) What fine cinema
are we enjoying tonight?
Gordita broke the TV again.
I merely borrowed
some wires it didn't need.
Come on!
(ALL GROANING)
(DOLLY LAUGHS)
(SCREAMING)
Did you see Dolly?
She was there.
If this is a prank, it isn't funny.
You know I love me a good prank,
but I ain't going
near that doll. No offense.
I'm flattered. Tater, if you're scared,
I could take her back
I'm not scared of her.
Or her ojo curses.
Just remember to brush her hair,
keep her upright
and in your sight,
and you'll be fine.
Uh, in my sight?
(SHUDDERING) I, uh, forgot something.
If that doll's stayin' up
in your room,
then we're all gonna
sleep downstairs!
Not scary at all!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(GROANS)
(SCREAMS)
...58, 59, 60.
(ALL SNORING)
(GASPS AND GROANS)
(DOLLY LAUGHING)
How do I stop it?
(SHUDDERING)
Buela! You were right,
it's the ojo thing.
Help me!
I've been preparing
for this moment toda mi vida. Esperate.
(CLUCKS)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
I have no idea
what you're saying, but I like it.
(SNORES)
Ugh. Bapu rub? Really?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
It works for everything.
(CHICKEN CLUCKS)
Is this really going to save me?
Shh-shh. Trust me.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
It's part of the process.
BOTH: Run!
Well, that's not part of the process.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(DOLLY LAUGHING)
That muneca is ruining my limpia.
Time to bring out the big guns!
(SCREAMING)
Sage, the biggest gun of them all!
Mal de ojo, turn away
from my granddaughter!
- Hmm?
- (LOTLOT COUGHS)
TATER: Lotlot?
(COUGHS) Dang, Buela,
you're a boss.
Dang right.
Lotlot, I thought
you were asleep.
Wait a second.
Have you been behind
all this spooky stuff?
Don't lie,
I can read body language.
No, yeah, it was totally me.
Well, what about
Dolly's awful laughter?
(DOLLY LAUGHS)
Told you to never tilt her.
Her voice box is kinda wonky.
So, she's not haunted?
I wish, but no. She had help.
Let me out!
You're earning your flies tonight, boys.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
You put a hole in my table?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Giving me a heart attack!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(GROANS) I need some ice cream.
Yeah, what she said!
Lotlot, why did you do all that?
I was just doing what you suggested.
Getting to know
my primos through some quality time.
And I thought I'd start with you.
There are a million
better ways to get to know someone!
Scaring is my love language.
Oh, what about giving gifts?
Words of affirmation?
Not really my style.
- (SIGHS)
- But I think you are.
My style, I mean.
Mmm. Because I'm so easy to scare?
No. I mean, yeah.
But it's more like,
you understand
how nice it is to be
quiet and alone sometimes.
Maybe we could be alone together?
Alone together.
Do you wanna have that tea party?
I'm kind of hungry.
I'll get the gore-d'oeuvres.
(CHUCKLES)
The what now?
TATER: (SIGHS) Eh,
I wasn't that scared.
But the one thing that really
spooked me was the TV stunt.
(CHEWING) How'd you do that?
I didn't do anything with the TV.
(SWALLOWS) Some things in life
I'm never gonna understand, am I?
It's more fun that way.
Tea?
Oh, good, this looks normal.
Blood orange. Extra blood.
(SIPS AND SMACKS LIPS)
Huh, not bad. (SIPS)
Ah. (SPEAKING SPANISH)
Maybe you're more of a blessing
than a curse after all, muneca.
(DOLLY SPEAKING SPANISH)