| — This is a transcribed copy of Summer of Lit-Tater-Atura. — |
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(TATER READING)
- (NEIGHS)
- (SPEAKING SPANISH)
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
(GRUNTING)
- Not another sock war, man.
- (ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(LAUGHS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Fear the Palo De Poder!
- I'm a pacifist, man.
- (SHOUTING)
Aw, yeah?
"Any other day, she's lucky
if she catches a sardine.
"But today, she reeled in a man."
- (THUDS)
- Hey!
Cut it out, guys.
The sock war is disturbing
my spicy reading time.
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
Laundry day.
Hey, hijita. What you got there?
- Picture books?
- Psh, what am I, a child?
Behold Romancimorphs Vol. three.
The Merman and Me.
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) It's, uh,
sophisticated young adult literature.
(IN NORMAL ACCENT)
So can you pretty please
buy me the fourth series?
Hija, you have so many books.
Maybe you should make room
by getting rid of a few.
What? No. Books are my family.
Can I, uh,
get rid of Nellie instead?
Aw. (MOCKINGLY CRYING)
I would love that.
Hijita, stop with
las preguntas, por favor.
No new books
until you've parted with some old ones.
Ugh! Get rid of my books?
What I supposed to do?
Give them away like day-old bagels?
Oh, yeah.
Just like Bagel boy.
This kid got
on the ten Under ten list
by giving away 10,000 bagels
to the hungry.
- And a few ducks.
- (QUACKS)
Mmm, I guess I could
try the giveaway thing
if it gets me something in return.
But which ones?
(ALL SINGING)
Happy birthday, dear Tater
Happy birthday to you
(GASPS)
(ROARS PLAYFULLY)
I'll always be here for you, Tater.
Junko Tabei was
the first woman to climb Mount Everest.
- Whoa!
- See?
Junko was a brave lady.
- Just like you'll be one day.
- (GIGGLES)
Yeah, I'm gonna be
just like her.
These little kid books
belong to past Tater,
and I don't know her.
I wish I didn't know you.
Maybe this is part of my final form.
One day
I will be known as Saint Tater...
(ALL CHEERING)
...patron saint of books.
Now I just need to find some minds
in need of enlightenment.
(GIGGLING)
Or a couple of primos.
(LAUGHING)
(CLAMORING)
Tater, are you gonna play with us?
Yeah. Check out these cool tricks
I can do con palo de poder.
Not today, youngster.
Today is a different day.
A special day. You get to choose
to stay in your
humdrum little lives or
free your minds.
Humdrum life!
Humdrum life!
Wait. I mean you're getting books.
Free books.
ALL: Yay!
You get a book,
and you get a book, and you get a book!
I love free stuff!
To Lucita, I bestow The Nose Knows.
Fresh picked just for you.
Nachito, I bestow upon you
these illustrated biographies.
You'll notice a mix of sweet and...
Sweet? Is it about candy?
No, It's about Junko Tabei,
the first woman to get
to the top of Mount Everest.
- Anyway, ChaCha...
- (SNARLS)
- I... Um...
- (SNARLING)
(MUFFLED) Wait what?
(SNIFFING)
- Hmm...
- Yeah.
Smell that, ChaCha?
(INHALES)
That's the smell of culture.
Savor it.
My work here is done.
Tater, you're my hero.
I'm no hero.
I do it all for the children.
But I do expect an oral report
from each of you about how I...
I mean, how the books
changed your lives.
(SNICKERING)
Fantasy romance, here I come.
Aw.
Poor sweet old-school Taties.
You need to graduate
to audiobooks like me.
See? Hands free.
Ugh, that's unnatural.
Just saying. It'd save you
from seeing your books
die by sticky hands.
But maybe you're just
a bigger person than I am.
Metaphorically.
Or maybe I know that
our sweet little primos
will cherish my gift of books.
(RIPPING)
Ugh, that's some
loud cherishing, huh?
(GASPING)
Improper use of
a (DISTORTED) semicolon.
- No!
- (RIPPING)
(GIGGLING) Get ready for
the (DISTORTED) penalty shot.
- (GASPING AND GROANING)
- (CHACHA CHOKES)
(RETCHING)
(BURPING) ChaCha.
Tater, why?
(GAGS) I think I'm gonna be sick.
Ooh, here.
I've got you with this book.
(GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)
Okay, this is over!
The book gala's concluded.
Thanks for playing.
- Hey!
- I thought you gave them to us.
Don't worry, little books.
I'm here. I'm taking you back home.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Nachito's right.
You gave them the books,
and they're not yours anymore.
But... But... But...
But maybe you could
teach your primos
to be a little bit more careful.
But that's impossible.
It's like trying to teach
a merman to mambo.
Merman to mambo?
What have you been reading?
Gah, it's uh... Nothing. I mean, uh...
Fine, I'll teach the primos.
Ah? Mmm-mmm. Hmm?
(GROANING)
Hmm?
(HUMMING)
(GASPS)
(SHUDDERING) Oh!
Okay. (SIGHS)
(GASPS)
Okay. (BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GASPING)
(PANTING)
- (GRUNTING)
- (TRAIN HORN BLARES)
Oh, Merman.
Even your majestic countenance
can't soothe my weary soul.
Hmm?
(STAMMERS) Wait. Is that...
Junko Tabei?
(YELPS AND GRUNTS)
First, Lucita with her crayon,
then ChaCha with her teeth,
and now this?
I want vengeance!
(COOING)
TATER: Oh, Lucita!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(GASPS) Wow!
Now they're red pandas.
Thanks, Tater.
(GRUNTING)
(SNORING)
TATER: Hey, ChaCha.
You bite my books, I bite your toys.
(SNARLING)
(SPITS)
A tooth for a tooth, ChaCha.
ChaCha. (LAUGHING)
- ChaCha and ChaCha.
- Huh?
Oh, she wants you to break in
the rest for her.
You must have some good chompers.
Ugh! Darn these resilient primos.
Their spirits are harder
to break than I estimated,
but my next attempt will not fail.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
So, Nachito,
if you ever wanna see your
precious palo de poder again,
look where cut grass
and fruit peels unite
to make the ultimate stink bomb.
You have until 3:00 p.m.
When it'll disappear
forever! (LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(GASPS)
(SNICKERING)
Now, to lurk and witness
justice unfurl. (LAUGHS)
Justice unfurling any minute now.
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HONKING)
Garbage truck. Where is he?
(GRUNTING)
Gah! I want justice, not regret.
(GRUNTING)
BIG NACHO: (CHUCKLES)
Que onda, trash potato?
You lose a bet or something?
(SIGHS) No.
I just lost my sense
of right and wrong for a minute.
Uh, what are you doing
with el palo de poder?
I, uh, was playing a joke on Nachito.
I left him a note
telling him where to find it,
but he never showed up.
Oh, well, he probably
couldn't read your note.
- What? Why?
- It's too early to tell.
But Dad thinks that Chito
might be dyslexic, like me.
Wait, you guys can't read?
No, tonta! We can read.
It's just
a lot harder for us than other people.
Which makes it less fun.
Get it?
I... I had no idea.
Yeah, I get it.
(GASPS) El palo de poder.
Ugh, why does it
taste like bananas?
I'm sorry, Nachito.
I've been a bad prima today.
No, Tater. I'm the bad one.
I know I ruined your books,
but I got frustrated.
I even taped one in the shower
so I could practice reading
while I did my shampoo.
It didn't help, though.
Don't give up, Nachito.
Books are incredible.
In books, you can travel the world,
have adventures,
- romance merpeople.
- Merpeople?
Um, what I'm
trying to say is books are amazing.
I can't let you miss out.
I don't wanna miss out.
I just wish I could
read books on my own.
Hmm... (GASPS)
I'll be right back.
- (GRUNTING)
- Hey, are there any tricks
that could
help Nachito read on his own?
Well, (GRUNTING)
at school it really helps
when my teacher
reminds me how certain letters sound.
(GRUNTING) Oh.
And something
to keep my place as I read helps too.
All right, Nachito.
This book is your Everest
and el palo de poder
will keep you on the trail.
- Huh?
- You wanna see what I mean?
Okay, this first word starts with a B.
You know the sound that makes?
Uh...
- Buh?
- You got it.
Born in J... J...
J... Japan!
(NACHITO GRUNTING)
Whoa!
Gotcha.
(GRUNTS)
Nachito, you made it to the summit.
Just like mighty mountaineer Junko.
I did it.
I did it! Yes.
Thank you, prima.
It's my pleasure, primo.
(YODELING)
- I did it!
- (LAUGHING)
Tater, you helped me.
Wow, this feels great.
There really is nothing
like sharing your passion.
And speaking of passion,
(CHUCKLES)
The Merman and Me awaits.
Ooh, can I try reading this one?
Oh, uh, sure.
Let me see if I can find
some Nachito-friendly parts.
Eh... No.
Oof, definitely not that.
Um, maybe you can read
the back cover for now.