— This is a transcribed copy of Summer of The Baby Races. — |
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[Baby Bud cooing]
[screaming]
Aw, Tater.
We're trying to relax.
If I can't relax,
no one can relax.
Not until I find
my limited edition
Romancimorphs shirt.
Okay, cool. I guess we'll just
[sighs] go to the kitchen.
Uh, is that your shirt?
-[accelerating sound]
-Huh?
[Bud] Hey! Come back here,
Baby Bud.
-Dang, you're fast boy.
-[laughing]
I got ya. Trying to outsmart
your old man, huh?
-Is that Rodrigo?!
-[farts]
-[growling]
-[rumbling]
-[pot and lamp breaking]
-Huh?
[whispering] Whoa! Did I just
unlock my super powers?
[slurping] Nope. It's just
a minor earthquake, sis.
Aw! Okay.
Wait, what was I doing?
Oh, yeah.
I was getting really mad!
You two need
to get it together.
You put my t-shirt
on Baby Bud's butt.
We're both so sorry sweetie.
Your dad made
an honest mistake.
Yeah. I didn't even know
it was a shirt.
And why the heck
would anyone wanna wear
something like this?
You're not helping
your case, Bud.
Why'd you even
run out of diapers
in the first place?
Dang! Tater's getting salty
with the elders.
Silencio ninos.
[in Spanish] Normalmente,
[in English] I would not
let you talk
to your parents like that.
[speaking Spanish]
Uh, that means
I'm right, right?
Whoa! There he goes.
Uh, what is going on?
[in English] It's time for you
to learn about
the secret history
of our familia.
The Fresadena Baby Races!
Every year,
Fresadena has a race
to determine the fastest baby.
I always hoped
one of my children
would be el campeon
and win a lifetime supply
of diapers.
But none of my babies
ever won [speaking Spanish].
[in English] Some did not even
finish the carrera.
Ma! Why did you
keep records of this?
[in Spanish]
We need to strategize.
No, our racing days are over.
The truth is,
it doesn't matter if we enter.
Those Fresadena babies
will always beat
Hacienda Hills babies.
They win because they cheat.
-Well, they still win, Mom.
-Where is your hometown pride?
Maybe it's somewhere
in that book of yours.
-[baby laughing]
-Come back here, chuckle Bud.
[cooing and laughing]
That's it! We should enter
Baby Bud into the race.
He's the fastest baby
there is.
He'll prove Hacienda Hills
is worthy of respect.
Have you been
listening at all?
Yeah. Hate to burst
your bubble, sis.
But, um... boop!
All the racers
are gonna be boujee babies
from across the crevasse.
Yeah. Check out
this Fresadena
influencer mom.
She's popped out
three winning babies.
I mean, yeah, sure.
But we've got
something to prove.
You may be fine with living
in Fresadena's shadow,
but not I!
And I know just the team
to help me train Baby Bud.
Primos! Assemble!
[wind blowing]
[Big Nacho speaking Spanish]
Hey, primos, I need your help.
-Sorry, Tater.
We're busy waiting for Hector.
-[bell ringing]
-[all] Yay!
-[Big Nacho] Andale.
-[speaking Spanish] Mango.
-[licking]
[Buela humming]
[sighs, moans and grunts]
Que pasa, mija?
I need a ride to Fresadena
to scope out the racetrack.
I would do it, mija.
But I know it's frowned upon
to drive
with an expired license.
[speaking Spanish]
[clears throat
and continues in Spanish]
Ay, Mama.
Is your old back injury
acting up again?
Si, mi jita.
You know what would help?
A massage
at the Fresadena mall.
Oh, yeah. There's a spa
next to the art store
that's having a sale.
[tires screeching]
[bell ringing]
[traffic honking]
[birds chirping]
[car pulls up and brakes]
Ohhh. It looks like everyone's
training for race day already.
Let's do a little recon,
Baby Bud.
See? Beneath
that cashmere onesie,
is just a regular baby.
-[blows whistle]
-[♪ upbeat music playing]
[baby cooing]
These babies
look harder to beat
than I expected.
No racing talk.
We're only here
for art bargains
and massage chairs.
Bargain hunting?
-[scoffs] Must be
from Blah-cienda Hills!
-[both laughing]
Ugh. Snobs.
What's her problem?
Well, Tater, some people
just think they're better
-than everyone else. Ooh!
-[cooing]
-[baby cooing]
-[gasps]
I'm so glad that's not
your nanny, sweetie.
Did she say you're his nanny?
What did she mean by that?
That's a good question, Tater.
Looks like it's time
for a teachable moment.
Excuse me. You really
shouldn't make assumptions
about people you don't know.
But since you did,
this is my baby.
Not all Latinas are nannies.
You two look nothing alike.
How was I supposed to know?
That's why
you shouldn't assume.
Yes, my baby has
his father's complexion
and propensity for sunburn,
but he's got my zero tolerance
policy for bull pucky.
And we're smelling
a big pile of it right here.
[speaking Spanish
and laughing]
This is my family.
And we may not have
all the resources you have,
but we have our pride.
And we'll be proudly
waving at you
from the winner's circle
on race day.
-All right!
-Yeah!
-Whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-We're gonna race!
-Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
-Yeah!
[♪ upbeat music playing]
[Tater] You all
should have seen it.
Bibi mic-dropped those snobs.
Dang. Who knew tia Bibi
could dunk
on people like that?
Ooh! I'd like to show them.
We can.
All we have to do
is get Baby Bud
to win the baby race.
-Anything for tia Bibi.
-[all] Oh, yeah!
Primos! Assemble!
[all talking]
[♪ uplifting music playing]
[Baby Bud grunting]
[cooing]
[grunting]
-[yawning]
-[♪ music distorts]
I might need your help, mija.
Because Baby Bud's
energy levels are depleting
far too swiftly?
Si. He can nap
when he's pop's age.
-[speaking Spanish]
He has to--
-Win.
-Baby Formula 1, coming up.
-[poof]
[Chad] It's a beautiful day
for a baby race.
I'm your host, Chad Gasser.
I'm joined
by crawling champion,
Binky Bradshaw.
-[laughing]
-[mic feedback]
You ain't kidding.
-Goal!
-Goal!
[camera shutter clicking]
Hmph!
-Hmph!
-[grunting]
Make way,
champion coming through.
-[both women] Hmph.
-That's my mom.
-[cooing]
-It's all up to you, Baby Bud.
Hacienda Hills
is counting on you.
[blows raspberry]
Got the goods?
Here it is. Baby Formula 1.
Made of all-natural
baby-safe ingredients.
Then why is it glowing?
Vitamins.
[Chad] All right, babies.
-Put down those rattles,
it's time to skedaddle.
-[cooing]
-[Chad] Ready.
-[engines revving]
-[Chad] Set!
-[engines revving]
-[airhorn blows]
-[Chad] Go!
And they're off!
No surprises here folks
as racer number three
takes the lead.
But could there be
an upset here today?
[cheering]
[panting]
[Chad] Oh, no.
Racer number five
has just discovered her foot.
The downfall of many a baby.
-Your thoughts, Binky?
-[farts]
Binky, we're live.
Over here, Baby Bud.
-[laughing]
-[Tater] It's your
favorite show.
[cooing then grunts]
[Chad] Whoa! We have
a baby powder blowout folks.
There is no coming back
from that.
Hold on. Number four
continues to pull ahead.
[cheering]
Show 'em
that Hacienda Hills heat.
[farts then poops]
Oh, no.
He's carrying too much weight.
-Let's go pit crew!
-[both] Hmm!
-[Chad] Racer number three
pulls ahead.
-[tires screeching]
[Chad] Oh!
And he gets distracted
by a toy diversion.
How do you feel, little guy?
I feel... [yawning]
Uh-oh. It's getting close
to nap time.
They should put
some spring in his crawl.
Huh? No!
We're trying to prove
we're winners, not cheaters.
I don't know.
Maybe it's the only way
to finally win?
Si. And they cheat, too.
-Besides, this isn't cheating,
it's vitamins.
-There's always another way.
You just gotta
look at this clearly.
[cooing and laughing]
[laughing]
[cooing and blows raspberry]
[cooing]
No! He's not supposed
to have screen time.
[cooing]
[Chad] Aw! Number three
took his first steps.
-But sadly,
this is a crawling race.
-[cooing]
[Chad in a deep voice]
Disqualified!
-[cheering]
-[♪ uplifting music plays]
[in normal voice]
History will be made today,
when the tiny Haciendan
crosses the finish line.
[Baby Bud cooing]
[♪ music distorts]
[yawning]
-[all gasp]
-[all] No, no, no!
Will there be a winner today?
Binky, what do you
make of this?
[sucking]
[Baby Bud cooing and snoring]
[speaking Spanish]
[in English]
What are we doing?
We really got carried away.
I don't know
what came over us.
I do.
Family, we lost ourselves
in the competition.
We were trying to prove
that the place we're from
is worthy of being respected.
But for me,
the proof is right here.
Look at us.
Our family sticks together,
works hard
and are great examples
of our community.
Our babies don't need
to win to prove they're
from somewhere great.
The truth is, we never needed
to compete in the first place.
Our great city
of Hacienda Hills
has nothing to prove!
-[rumbling]
-[woman] Earthquake!
-[screaming]
-Duck and cover!
-Sheesh. It's just
a small one, everybody.
-[speaking Spanish]
[snoring and cooing]
-We won!
Hacienda Hills is the best!
-[cheering]
Take that, Fresadena!
-[cheering]
-Um, excuse me.
-Oh!
-[splash]
[burps]
[cooing]
-[gasps]
-Whoa!
-Yahoo!
-[Baby Bud cooing]
-[Bibi] Ah!
-[Tater] Ooh!